Have you ever experienced hurt in friendship? Maybe you had hoped hoped a friend would respond a certain way but she didn't. Have you ever felt left out? Or felt that a friend did not care for you as much as you cared for her? Maybe it feels like sometimes the relationship is one-sided and it seems like you are always the one to initiate the texts and get-togethers? I have experienced all these things and have felt very hurt as a result. I often took the blame and felt maybe I was not exciting enough or maybe I was asking for too much from these friends. If you have experienced any of these feelings, please keep reading.
Messy Beautiful Friendship is not just any old self-help book on friendship. It's much more than that. Christine talks to the reader on a very personal level and examines friendship through the biblical lens. Whether you believe in the Christian faith or not, this book is very much encouraging and enlightening. The biblical view of friendship is drastically different from the secular view. We are taught from society to do things that make us happy, not to do hard things. We are taught to surround ourselves with people who will make us better, not people who need our help. We are taught to walk away when relationships get difficult, not to work things out. The world says, "Take care of YOU and do what makes YOU happy." The Bible says to love and serve others. "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love." (Gal 5:13)
With the focus on self, it is easy to concoct expectations in our relationships. We sometimes formulate an idea or definition of what friendship truly means. We set parameters and measure people to determine where they stand with us. I have been guilty of these things. I have expected friends to meet my needs when really, the only one who can meet all my needs is Jesus.
Messy Beautiful Friendship explains that friendship is not about us but about others. Friendship with others is not a guarantee but it is a gift. Christine addresses many issues that we may face in friendship, such as insecurity and unmet expectations, and encourages us to overcome them. She gives biblical explanations and many personal examples of her own experiences to encourage the reader. She writes in a way that makes you feel like you know her and that she is sitting across from you, talking to you as a friend. Reading this book has caused me to realize I am not alone. I thought I was the only one who was having having a hard time in some of my relationships. This book has blessed me and challenged me to look at friendship differently, allowing people to be who they are and looking to Jesus for validation and fulfillment. "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2)
I highly recommend this book. Even if you feel all your friendships or good, this book will give you a fresh perspective that will enhance your relationships with others.
Please also check out Christine's blog at: http://www.gracecoversme.com/
