I
have always desired the spiritual gifts, especially the gift of discernment.
After many years of praying for this particular gift, I am finally seeing it
develop. I have yet to physically see anything in the spiritual realm but I
have definitely felt things. Sometimes God just points out a spirit to me. I am
growing into this gift and am getting used to differentiating between my own
perception and the Holy Ghost’s radar.
A
couple weeks ago I started my mental health nursing clinical. My experiences
have been less than exceptional and perhaps it is not a far stretch to say the
supernatural may have something to do with it. My first day of clinical was not
good. I felt frustrated and found myself complaining the entire time. I went
home realizing I had not even considered covering myself in prayer for this
clinical experience.
The
following week I came back to the clinical sight hoping for a better experience
and I was more aware of the territory I was entering. I found myself feeling
very frustrated again. I did not express my emotions and did not share them
with my nursing peers but I could feel the frustration and irritability burning
on the inside. I felt like I was swirling in a sea of negativity and no one
else seemed to be experiencing it. I even found myself resenting one of my
peers for no reason. I quickly realized that a spirit of anxiety was trailing
me. I tried to pray against it while at the mental hospital where my clinical
was taking place but I felt too weak mentally. I felt so desperate I even
texted my family and asked for prayer. The enemy’s arsenal was coming at me
hard. The spirit ended up following me home but thankfully I recognized it’s
presence on my home and found the strength to pray against it. I also had the
prayers of my family supporting me.
This
week I went to clinical fully alert and ready for the spiritual activity that was
going to surround me once I set foot in the hospital. I was in a fairly good
mood for most of the 6 hours I was there. However, towards the end, as I sat
with my peers and listened to them reflect on their experiences, it hit me. A
wave of depression rushed over me and suddenly I felt like crying. I felt so
heavy and fatigued as if someone had thrown a sopping wet blanket over my head.
The Holy Ghost discerned the situation and I began to pray in my mind and sing
a worship song. I recognized the spirit of depression. It was the first spirit
God showed me. Thankfully He showed me in a dream and not real life. As I
prayed the feeling of sadness lifted. The heaviness did not go away completely
until I left the hospital.
As
I walked out of the hospital God reminded me to brush off the dust, and so, I
literally did just that. I walked to my car with my heavy school bag and
brushed off both my shoulders and my head and I said out loud, “Spirits, you
cannot come home with me or come into my car in Jesus’ name”. I pulled out of
the parking lot that night feeling relieved.
God has been teaching me to be more sensitive
and has been helping me recognize spirits everywhere I go. It is very
interesting but also very serious. I know I must be prayed up and fasted up and
carry my shield of faith wherever I go. This is a very dark world we live in
and the spiritual battle is at large. Sleeping soldiers cannot stand.
