Messy Beautiful Friendship: Book Review

Have you ever experienced hurt in friendship? Maybe you had hoped hoped a friend would respond a certain way but she didn't. Have you ever felt left out? Or felt that a friend did not care for you as much as you cared for her? Maybe it feels like sometimes the relationship is one-sided and it seems like you are always the one to initiate the texts and get-togethers? I have experienced all these things and have felt very hurt as a result. I often took the blame and felt maybe I was not exciting enough or maybe I was asking for too much from these friends. If you have experienced any of these feelings, please keep reading.

Recently I started reading Messy Beautiful Friendship by Christine Hoover. In her book, Christine really spoke to me. If only I could have read this book several years ago, it would have saved me many tears from the hurts I have experienced in friendship. I had to learn some things the hard way, but perhaps others who will read this book can save themselves from some of the heartaches that come with friendship.

Messy Beautiful Friendship is not just any old self-help book on friendship. It's much more than that. Christine talks to the reader on a very personal level and examines friendship through the biblical lens. Whether you believe in the Christian faith or not, this book is very much encouraging and enlightening. The biblical view of friendship is drastically different from the secular view. We are taught from society to do things that make us happy, not to do hard things. We are taught to surround ourselves with people who will make us better, not people who need our help. We are taught to walk away when relationships get difficult, not to work things out. The world says, "Take care of YOU and do what makes YOU happy." The Bible says to love and serve others. "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love." (Gal 5:13)

With the focus on self, it is easy to concoct expectations in our relationships. We sometimes formulate an idea or definition of what friendship truly means. We set parameters and measure people to determine where they stand with us. I have been guilty of these things. I have expected friends to meet my needs when really, the only one who can meet all my needs is Jesus.

Messy Beautiful Friendship explains that friendship is not about us but about others. Friendship with others is not a guarantee but it is a gift. Christine addresses many issues that we may face in friendship, such as insecurity and unmet expectations, and encourages us to overcome them. She gives biblical explanations and many personal examples of her own experiences to encourage the reader. She writes in a way that makes you feel like you know her and that she is sitting across from you, talking to you as a friend. Reading this book has caused me to realize I am not alone. I thought I was the only one who was having having a hard time in some of my relationships. This book has blessed me and challenged me to look at friendship differently, allowing people to be who they are and looking to Jesus for validation and fulfillment. "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2)

I highly recommend this book. Even if you feel all your friendships or good, this book will give you a fresh perspective that will enhance your relationships with others.

Please also check out Christine's blog at:  http://www.gracecoversme.com/

On Friendship

I have been blessed with some wonderful, satisfying friendships in the past few years. However, growing up, I went through some rocky roads to navigate friendship in my teenage years. During my childhood  I was very shy. Yet, I had a close circle of friends in grade school. When I was in 6th grade, my family moved from our small town to a city over an hour away. That was a big deal back in a day when cell phones didn't exist and the only thing a 12 year old girl had to stay connected to her friends was AOL and dialup...or snail mail!

It was hard to lose my friends from grade school--we lost touch eventually. Being so shy, I had a hard time connecting with my new classmates. What had I done in elementary school that caused me to have a good group of close friends? How could I apply that to now? The school was a K-8 so all the girls had known each other since birth practically and I was the odd duck on the block.

Then came high school with the same questions, only I was older. I didn't fit in with my peers because I was the "church girl" which warranted me no close friendships. Nonetheless, I was still very well liked. During these years my family started attending a new church. I thought because it was church it was a safe place and that I should automatically make friends with ease. Not so.

There was the initial "new kid on the block" reaction which quickly wore off after a few weeks. Again, I felt like I didn't fit. I blamed it on my shyness. I blamed it on my wardrobe--I didn't dress pretty enough. I blamed it on not being thin enough. I tried to solve this problem of why I didn't have friends. So many times I was left out of events and activities. Countless times I was pushed aside.

I had no friends. But I had JESUS. I began to know Him. To really know Him. As my father, my beloved, and my Friend. He began to teach me things and I began to question Him less. The road was still long and it wasn't easy having little to no friends, but through it, God taught me to find love, affirmation, and fulfillment--things we all need--through Him alone.

Then, God began bringing special people into my life to be my friend. Each friend He brought was very  different from the others, but all were special in their own regard. Around this time, I discovered Christine Hoover's blog, Grace Covers Me. She wrote a lot about faith, love, being a pastor's wife, and friendship. This really appealed to me as I had become close to a pastor's wife at that time and wanted to be a blessing to her in our friendship. I started reading Christine's blog and subscribing to it. I felt so encouraged by everything she wrote, regardless of the topic. Recently she has been blogging more about friendship and will actually be releasing a book soon!!! I have been chosen to read and review her new book, Messy Beautiful Friendship. I am so excited to read and share my thoughts!

I have learned a lot about friendship over the years, and from what I have learned about Christine Hoover, she has learned a lot too. As I read through the book I will be sharing what I learn along the way. If you have ever struggled with friendship or want to learn more about friendship and being a good friend, I highly recommend ordering Christine's  book, Messy Beautiful Friendship. You can order it from her website www.gracecoversme.com or Amazon. I'm currently reading the third chapter and I already can't put it down!!

Blessings to you as you walk and grow in God.

Growing Into the Gift of Discernment

I have always desired the spiritual gifts, especially the gift of discernment. After many years of praying for this particular gift, I am finally seeing it develop. I have yet to physically see anything in the spiritual realm but I have definitely felt things. Sometimes God just points out a spirit to me. I am growing into this gift and am getting used to differentiating between my own perception and the Holy Ghost’s radar.

A couple weeks ago I started my mental health nursing clinical. My experiences have been less than exceptional and perhaps it is not a far stretch to say the supernatural may have something to do with it. My first day of clinical was not good. I felt frustrated and found myself complaining the entire time. I went home realizing I had not even considered covering myself in prayer for this clinical experience.

The following week I came back to the clinical sight hoping for a better experience and I was more aware of the territory I was entering. I found myself feeling very frustrated again. I did not express my emotions and did not share them with my nursing peers but I could feel the frustration and irritability burning on the inside. I felt like I was swirling in a sea of negativity and no one else seemed to be experiencing it. I even found myself resenting one of my peers for no reason. I quickly realized that a spirit of anxiety was trailing me. I tried to pray against it while at the mental hospital where my clinical was taking place but I felt too weak mentally. I felt so desperate I even texted my family and asked for prayer. The enemy’s arsenal was coming at me hard. The spirit ended up following me home but thankfully I recognized it’s presence on my home and found the strength to pray against it. I also had the prayers of my family supporting me.

This week I went to clinical fully alert and ready for the spiritual activity that was going to surround me once I set foot in the hospital. I was in a fairly good mood for most of the 6 hours I was there. However, towards the end, as I sat with my peers and listened to them reflect on their experiences, it hit me. A wave of depression rushed over me and suddenly I felt like crying. I felt so heavy and fatigued as if someone had thrown a sopping wet blanket over my head. The Holy Ghost discerned the situation and I began to pray in my mind and sing a worship song. I recognized the spirit of depression. It was the first spirit God showed me. Thankfully He showed me in a dream and not real life. As I prayed the feeling of sadness lifted. The heaviness did not go away completely until I left the hospital.

As I walked out of the hospital God reminded me to brush off the dust, and so, I literally did just that. I walked to my car with my heavy school bag and brushed off both my shoulders and my head and I said out loud, “Spirits, you cannot come home with me or come into my car in Jesus’ name”. I pulled out of the parking lot that night feeling relieved.

 God has been teaching me to be more sensitive and has been helping me recognize spirits everywhere I go. It is very interesting but also very serious. I know I must be prayed up and fasted up and carry my shield of faith wherever I go. This is a very dark world we live in and the spiritual battle is at large. Sleeping soldiers cannot stand.

Sewing Made Easy

I am not one for making New Year's resolutions, but for 2014 I did take a moment to consider what I would like to do this year. I decided that learning how to sew would be a good goal for the year. So many times I need to make alterations on my clothes so I send my repairs to grandma but I don't get them back for at least a month since she's so busy and lives over an hour away. It only seems logical that I learn to sew so I can repair my own clothes at my convenience and even make myself new things.

There are only three people close to me who can teach me but none of them can. My grandma is too far away, my one friend is too busy, and my other friend is sick of sewing.  And to my dismay, the fabric store offers sewing classes when I am not available. So I am out on this limb alone. I decided the only thing I can do is just pick up some fabric and sew.

I was able to borrow my friend's sewing machine and  get a brief lesson from her on how to use the machine.
Now where to start. I made my way to Walmart (probably the worst place to get fabric. In fact, I am sure it is an abomination to the professional seamstress) to look for some cheap fabric and a simple pattern.

Note: My style of learning is hands-on and visual. I am not the kind of person who can learn by reading directions. I have to be shown and then I have to practice with someone guiding me. However, since my options were limited, the only thing I could do was by the dreaded pattern and try to sew my way through that.

There was a rack of patterns that seemed to be well-priced but they were ugly. I looked for the simplest thing I could find.

Ah ha! I found a pattern for a cute apron. I wear aprons around the house, so a cute apron would be a fun, seemingly simple thing to make. The headline on the package said "Sewing Made Easy" and that it was only 99 cents. I thought, "Is it really that easy?" There was only one way to find out.

I rushed home with my discount fabric and my cheap pattern.
I was all excited as I laid out my fabric and began to prepare for this new endeavor. I opened up the directions thinking, "This can't be so bad", but as I perused through the instruction catalog, trying to find the English instructions--not the French or Spanish--I realized this was going to be a big headache.

Yet, I tried matching the pattern to the fabric and I just started cutting away. After I finished cutting, I realized this pattern was not very accurate for one-sided fabric. It turned out that in order for the pattern to work, some of my pieces would need to be cut from the back side.

In my frustration I tossed the pattern aside and decided to create my own  apron sans pattern. The cuttings I had made would be a mess to salvage, but I had run out of fabric and there was nothing I could do, other than scrap the whole project--which was not something I would care to do.

After much brainstorming, pinning, and running back and forth between the iron and the sewing machine, I came up with an apron. I even managed to create ruffles--a real delight for someone who has knows nothing about sewing.

The apron was nowhere near perfect. It was a little too short, but it seemed to be pretty decent for my first time sewing from scratch.

I managed to salvage my fabric, but never again to I plan on buy a pattern, no matter how "Easy" it is.

Compassionate Jesus: A Book Review

Being a nursing student, I am fascinated by medical science, which is why I have chosen to review Compassionate Jesus, by Christopher Bogosh, for Cross Focused Reviews. The book is very interesting. Anyone who loves science, wants to learn about the history of healthcare, or is interested in reading about the controversy of medical science versus supernatural healing, this is the book for you. Bogosh shares healthcare history, scripture, and  personal experiences about his career as a nurse and the death of his sister, making this book not only informative, but personal. Bogosh addresses how we too easily get caught up in trying to prolong our life by using extreme measures instead of allowing God to receive the glory in our weakness. Too often we seek medical attention first and save Jesus for the last resort. This book will inform you and give you clarity. This is a book every Christian needs to read.

Amberly

A Book Review of The Button Legacy

The Button Legacy, written by Ginger Marcinkowski, is a short fiction novel about how a mysterious box of buttons plays a significant role in a family, teaching them about the most important things in life; faith, family, and love. The story takes place in Plaster Rock, New Brunswick in 1956 where the button box is first introduced. The box, which contains hundreds of buttons that each tell a story, is an old family relic passed down from generation to generation. Throughout the novel, each owner of the button box learns about the importance of family and the depth of God's grace and forgiveness. You will laugh and you will cry as you read and share in the stories of the buttons. Perhaps you will start your own button box. 

Amberly Zimmerman
Cross Focused Reviews

Mom: A Mother's Day Poem

Mom
So short a name for
So profound a woman

Always giving
Always reaching

Mom

The encourager of the family
The nurturer of the heart

Always praying
Always seeking

Mom

Clothed with strength,
Humility and love
Heaven's gift to children,
An angel of the greatest love,
Mom


By: Amberly Zimmerman
(5.12.13)